Thursday, February 15, 2007

Lovenote to a stranger

why have you drifted so far away
from my body, the scent of your sweat
faded from my teeshirt why have you
slipped away so silent so cold beyond
the words the walls the reach
of grasping fingers the animal
thirst of blinded hours

The demons have choked in my head, the doorways
lost. The streets where your breath
swelled like the ocean wind, filling cries
of seagulls and unborn children in my head... the streets
have been devoured by mist, as if
they never were. As if you never were
the ancient god
of storms and frenzied prayers
and secret shrines; as if you never
spread the night sky around my shoulders,
your body - feverish, bright - burning like stars.
Tell me why I can't
recognize your name anymore, why your body
has become a land I have never tread - my streets
devoured by mist, as if they never were.
Why did you let me drift
so far away
that I cannot return?

For I still
nurse the ghost of you
in my mind, like a hidden madness, an
imaginary wound... so far, so
unreal that nothing
can ever touch you
no love
no tears
no blood


My Cenotaph said...

it was really nice...i mean there is nothin erotic...i am sure college would publish it...
i mean it doesnt say anythin directly, does it??? i am sure the poetry forum would appreciate!

shaapla said...

you know,this is brilliant stuff.really woman,WRITE more!!
it reminds me of that song i quoted in my blog, "take this waltz" by L.Cohen.

"oh i want you,i want you,
i want you.
on a chair with a dead magazine.
in a cave at the tip of a lily..
in some hallway where love's never been."

Bishan Samaddar said...

very moving.
i love the choice of words: simple, common, short, gritty, brilliantly put to use.
the line breaks of the fisrt stanza are interesting.
lovely work.
hope to see more soon :)

Living On Video said...

"For I still
nurse the ghost of you
in my mind, like a hidden madness, an
imaginary wound"

Interesting, really. But I seriously couldn't imagine you writing this. It's different. :)

dry, sweet and very very stormy said...

freya: glad you liked, dear. about poetry forum, well...

shaapla: since you did mention cohen, i will tell you that one of the inspirations for writing this was a terrible hostility towards his "as the mist leaves no scar."

bishan: much thanks. the first stanza was purely impulsive, so i don't know if i genuinely deserve the compliment.

trina: i'd love to know what exactly you mean.

inihos said...


Shamash said...

Why did you let me drift
so far away
that I cannot return?

"my favourite lines"

all in all i felt that this stanger was someone you know yet he was very far away.. when you talk about drifting far away from him he ceases to be a starnger because he has let you drift away.. also certain descriptions i felt showed there was an underlying knowledge of the poet knowing the identitiy of this starnger yet denying it maybe...
but then thats what i felt

Elendil said...

This is genius. No other words for it. You've taken my breath away. What mind-fucking decriptions. What power.
Jesus. You can write. Lets have some more.

Ps: I love the frequent use of line breaks. It makes each line flow into the next, creating an strange impression rather than anything tanglible. Brilliant stuff.

oliver said...

sohini: thankee!

rohit: that's a very nice perspective. it fascinates me to see how people interpret my writing differently than what was in my head when i wrote.

prayag: thanks. about more, well, this is sort of inspired writing, as i think is quite obvious. i've wondered if writing a piece like this is worth going through the entire experience. passionless existence is so much easier.

Elendil said...

@Oliver: Strange, exact same thing happens to me. I write best when under great emotional strain. But I think it's better to feel something (even pain), than feel nothing at all.

Rajarshi said...

that's some pretty deep philosophical stuff there...whoa!

the 6 minute war might not even last that long!

The Inquirer said...

That was brilliant & profound, esp the last paragraph, But tell me something, are u sad in regard to yur forlornness or are u sad bcoz u r unwillingly being put to this situation.... if so, then is one really sad, or is it one's Will that is sad?

PS. Does one love, in the first place, out of one's Will or, does one love bcoz one cannot but be so?
Does one be in love, or does one do love?

The Darkish Overlord said...

where are you? i have tried to contact you, but in vain..i have lost ur number as i have changed my cellphone

Manic Street Preacher said...

oh, cunning love.


oliver said...

rajarshi: indeed it won't. did someone say make love, not war?

inquirer: who knows? i can't recognize the stateofmind i had written this poem in, it was sort of a drunkenness, it's passed over. i can't explain it anymore, i don't understand. i don't even read this poem anymore, y'know? it's bizarre that people are still reading and asking me about it.

raunak: well, you did.

preacher: :)

The Inquirer said...

ooo so u wrote this poem sometime back.

In that way, can any artist lay claim to be the sole ownership of something s/he had once created?

PS. Who creates?

And thanx for yur reply, so which is yur main blog?

Prometheus_Unbound said...


Arse Poetica said...

The 18th comment:"Mandee re."